Lonely – but surrounded by people…

Posted byColourfulChaosPosted inUncategorized

Ever feel on your own, distanced from everyone, not right but you are surrounded by friends and family? I do…

I have got to this place where I feel so alone in the world. I mask everyday the loneliness I feel. I just think no one would understand. I get offers to go out for dinner, socialise, messages, phone calls but I still feel distant.

I mask to the world around me. Everyone sees this walking dopamine dresser, over sharer, fun loving, kind and loyal person but they don’t understand what’s going on in my head.

I have days where I have ADHD paralysis ontop of chronic fatigue due to my fibromyalgia and I just curl into a tiny ball and sleep. Sometimes I feel more alive in my dreams than I do in real life. when I can remember them.

I feel numb to most things now and I have lost touch of the joy of the little things. I have had negative core values most of my life and this has impacted that loneliness.

I have all these people I can reach out to but I can’t quite grasp the motivation or energy to reach back. I am left currently asking myself how someone surrounded by supportive and loving friends, family and husband can be so alone?

Published by ColourfulChaos

I’m Charlotte — 34, colourful, chatty, and powered by caffeine, chaos, and a stubborn sparkle. A neurodivergent, fun‑loving aunt and dog‑mum with hidden disabilities and a heart that feels everything loudly. I’m finally figuring out who I am (late bloomers unite), and this blog is my technicolour space for self‑discovery — the joy, the mess, the masking, the meltdowns, the glitter, and the growth. If you like honesty with humour, chaos with colour, and real life with a side of sparkle, you’re in the right place.

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